


Meet the Ladies

by cryobeek



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Canon X OC - Freeform, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Implied Relationships, M/M, Major Original Character(s), Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:09:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29221473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryobeek/pseuds/cryobeek
Summary: The year is 1971. Four years since the RED vs. BLU war had begun.There was no denying the unchanging rift between RED and BLU, and that the teams were arguably matched. So, then what is the next best solution to take on? Stop the silly feud? NONSENSE.What adds spice better than adding new ingredients to the pot? Especially ingredients that aren’t familiar to what is already inside the soup. How does the addition of three new team mates to both sides impact the fight?Please note the POV for each chapter varies at the beginning of the book, and this book focuses more heavily on the RED recruits. Also, it’ll be made clear early on that one specific lady is more of a focal point than the others, just because of her position.I am taking a lot of liberties in this story, as the comics are a thing. I’m trying to be as canonical as possible, but the years might not line up perfectly.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	1. The Hunt

Introduction

[Miss Pauling]

Recruitment days weren’t something I looked forward to. Granted it wasn’t something I had to do for a long long time – over 4 years now, but they were a nuisance nonetheless. After Helen- the Administrator, handed me 5 thick brown envelopes, she instructed that I head to my destinations immediately to get these recruits interested. What jarred me was the odd number, but when asked I was told to “figure her out”. Delightful.

I made my way to my chariot for the trip, a questionably stable looking plane with a thick coat of rust lavishing it. In faint white letters the word “DODO” was written on one of the wings. I was told Mr. Hale had hired a new pilot recently, explicitly for my trips to wherever I needed to go. It was odd, until I discovered that she was an Australian raised by New Zealanders who somehow managed to stay in Australia – he must’ve taken pity on her.

On the far side of the plane, I spotted a head. I glanced over and coughed to get her attention. A head shot up from over the plane – the woman must’ve easily been 6 feet. She gave me the goofiest grin and made her way over to me.

“Ah! G’day there um, Miss…”

“Pauling.”

She scratched her cheek and nodded, “Right, Miss Pauling. Apologies. I’ve been prepping me bird for our flight. I took a look at the route and figured we outta head to Santa Cruz, Argentina first, then Ontario, then British Columbia, Canada.” She took out a questionable map as she spoke, showing me our intended flight. I let my eyes scan the paper but focused on my own thoughts. One Argentine and two Canadians – as if three North American’s wasn’t bad enough. There had to have been some benefits to selecting these particular women – there was that thought too. Why women? I wasn’t going complain, but, it was odd to me that the new recruits were all decidedly women. I couldn’t lie to myself though, it’d be nice to have some girls to talk to about bloodshed every now and again. Then there was the consideration of that sixth person without a file; how the hell was I going to find an additional person? The requirements were hard enough as it was, but I was to do it blindly.

“…Miss Pauling?”

I was cut off by the pilot looking at me as if I had died inside, she waved her lanky fingers in my face as I shook myself out of my head.

‘Sorry, yes. That sounds perfect.”

She got into the plane, as if expecting me to follow along. As I got in, she was setting up the jets and fans. I glanced down at the first envelope and opened it up, peaking in to see one of the new recruits. Conveniently, it was one of the Argentine’s, the one for the RED team. I indulged in her photo a lot longer than I should have, she was incredibly attractive – silky dark brown hair, a warm sun kissed brown skin complexion, and green-almost yellow eyes. This was to be the Illusionist. 

As I read, the plane had already left the ground, and we were well on our way. The pilot glanced over at me, ignoring that I had my nose in the paperwork and spoke up,

“By the way, you can call me Olive. Short for Olivera Burr.” 

I simply nodded, not wanting to be rude, but at the same time I was trying to work.

I continued my inspection through her files, seeing that she was a former magicians assistant who went rogue when realizing the payroll for assassins was far superior. She was the new Support member. Kind of a Spy type if I’m to be honest. Her name is Carmella – but no last name is given. Of course not. She lives off the coast of Santa Cruz, speaks English, Spanish, French, German, Russian…God. What wasn’t this woman capable of speaking?

I then flipped through the envelops to find the BLU Illusionist. As expected, she looked almost identical to the RED one, except, her background was a sadder situation. Seems her late husband cheated on her and left her to raise their son alone. With no steady income, but a surprisingly vast knowledge of magic, she began working for shady gangs and murdered those who got in their way. She even received a call to kill her own husband and his mistress – of course she complied. Her name is Amrita Sanchez. She, unlike Carmella, lives in Buenos Aires. She exclusively spoke Spanish and English, and her son was her whole world. In this line of work that probably isn’t the smartest thing to have written in your files.

The next set were the two Lumberjacks – what a cliché Canadian thing to be called. The Lumberjacks were going to be part of the Offense. The ladies – as expected – were identical: deep auburn hair pulled up in a quaint ponytail, emerald green eyes that were easily their best features, and a slightly darker yet still white complexion. They also dawned red freckles. 

The RED Lumberjack was Elizaveta “Elizabeth” Matthews. A woman from a long line of lumberjacks. According to her files she had a twin sister and a once loving husband, who inevitably had sex with one another, and she caught them during their affair. In a fit of sorrow, she shot them both. Apparently, she got away with it too. How whoever did the snooping got this information, but the cops didn’t it was hard to say. Apparently calling her a mercenary is an unfair statement, but she clearly knows how to kill.

On the other hand, the BLU Lumberjack had arguably the thickest folder of the five. Her name is Annalise, a Quebecois. French was her first language and making her speak English was going to be a trick. She was a hired mercenary and seductresses. I almost wish I could’ve had a full body shot of her to see what makes her good at her work. She was notorious for “playing with her toys” before killing them. Apparently, she had connections with people in British Columbia and that was how she was able to hide the evidence. There was a footnote on that part, and it said, “See BLU Cryogenist”. 

Suddenly it clicked in my mind, the reason we had an odd number was because we had a BLU Cryogenist – was that even the proper term – but we didn’t have a RED one. Great. That was my responsibility. I guess it was time to see what her folder looked like.

The BLU Cryogenist, the newest Defence member, was clearly a shorter woman as her profile barely showed her shoulders. She had long light brown almost blonde hair, ironically icy blue eyes with a hint of grey, and the palest complexion of the new recruits. One had to wonder if she worked at a morg or came out of one. Her name was Luann Goldman. She was a chemist who worked at a morgue as a side job. Impressively, her background was in biochemistry, and she likely could’ve taken many different jobs, but given she worked with Annalise, she probably found the best money working as a mercenary’s assistant. There was no background on her killing – maybe it was a two-for-one deal with the pair?

The question, and frustration, remained. I’d have to find her clone for RED.

That would have to be dealt with at a later time though, as I needed to focus on how to approach Carmella and Amrita.


	2. The Illusionist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miss Pauling and Ms. Burr are off to Argentina to find their pair of Illusionists. Each portion is through the perspective of each individual Illusionist, please see the brackets to know who is speaking.

[RED - Carmella]

Another day another job – but which one to pick? I idly thumbed through todays selection of possible victims. I won’t lie, I slowed down when I saw the more attractive targets, but the money always attracted me more. I finally found my victim – a mobster who owed a king pin a shit load of money. Delicious. I slide the remaining files back to the “clerk” as I left the building. It was a shady dump outside of town, but it was where the assassins went to scope business. As I made my way to my car, I noticed that undeniable feeling of a pair of eyes observing my every move. I moved away from my car and fiddled with my jacket, making sure my gun was within reach. 

As I looked around me, a woman in purple came into view. She looked harmless, but incredibly well dressed – which was incredibly abnormal in this area. As she started walking towards me, I made my move towards her at a faster pace.

“Carmella, you can put your gun away. I’m not an enemy.” The woman spoke in English, her accent suggested she was from Central-Northern America, maybe even the West Coast. Her words caused me to freeze – who the hell was this woman and who did she know my name? 

I composed myself, fixing my jacket and lowering my hands, “Alright tricks, what’s your deal if you’re not my enemy?”

The woman smirked and lifted a crusty brown envelope in front of me, while I couldn’t fully make out the tiny print in the corner, I could see RED Ill- something. Without hesitation, I snatched the envelope from her and checked its contents. It was filled to the brim with my personal information. Clearly, this woman had done some impressive snooping.

“That was my bosses heavy work, I’m not the stalker type myself.” She began again, fixing her glasses as she prattled on, “We would like to hire you for a full-time position as a mercenary.”   
The vagueness of her statement suggested she wasn’t allowed to disclose much more unless I complied. Curse my curiosity. 

I then saw a paper that addressed a few of my inquires. “The Illusionist” was the title, and it mentioned a detailed explanation of the “class”. Everything in it was up my alley – it almost looked like the job was created for me. I glanced up at her, “what’s the pay?” 

“It’ll be far better than what you make on your jobs, even better than the one you just took.”

I refused to believe she knew what I had chosen, there was no way this woman was that good, hopefully. But the whole situation intrigued me greatly. I’d be nice to work for professionals instead of in the shadows. I was a sucker for fun.

“Where do I sign?”

[BLU - Amrita Sanchez]

It had taken me far too long to get Fenton to sleep, but somehow, I got lucky. My poor boy was having trouble again. I think he knew that when he went to sleep, his mommy was out doing her job – it always bothered me to think about when the time would come that I’d have to openly tell him. At least for now he was only 7, not yet old enough to comprehend what it meant to be a murderer for hire.

I lingered by the phone, hesitantly waiting for a phone call from anyone looking to hire me. I was running short on rent money again, figures as much, now there’s no need for me when I am in need.

Then, as if luck had shine down on me, there was a knock on the door. I got up and carefully made my way over, looking through the peephole first before opening it. There stood a rather pretty young woman in a purple dress and sharp black glasses. I should’ve been smart, but I opened the door without hesitation.

“Si?”

“Hello Ms. Sanchez.” She began, fixing her glasses as she spoke, “I heard you’re in need of a job, how about a permanent one as a mercenary?” She then gently handed me a curious crisp brown envelope. Now I was hesitant, an instant job? There had to be a catch.

“Where is this job located?”

“New Mexico, United States.” She said sharply, moving her hands to her sides in a prompt fashion. Something felt off about the whole situation, and the fact it was in the US made it harder to believe. I then opened the envelope, my hand shaking foolishly. I skimmed threw the “Illusionist” page, “What about my son?”

“We can arrange for him to stay at a day care facility that you can go to on ceasefire days and times when you aren’t working.” 

I had to think, the temptation to accept was great, if the money was high, I’d be a fool to decline.

“Payment?”

“You’ll be set for life.” She said simply, maintaining a gentle smile.

“Alright, I’m in.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be spewing out these next three chapters like wildfire, I want to get their introductions out of the way so I can get to the meat. I hope you've enjoyed!


	3. The Lumberjack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lumberjacks, both are cold, sexy, and murderers. Something about these too women just screams...Sexy killer. Probably not the best way to go about being a mercenary, but oh well.

[RED - Elizabeth Matthews]

“TIMBER!” My lungs began to beg me to stop shouting, as my tenth tree for the day meets the steady snow-coated grass. I wiped my disgustingly moist head on the back of my gloved hand as I trotted over to the fallen tree. The job wasn’t much, but it was honest work. I began cutting in half, it was just easier to carry that way, when I heard the gentle clacking of heels hit the concrete of my driveway. Who could that be? Then it dawned on me.

“Shit,” I muttered aloud, “Janie, I’ve just gotta few more trees to go, then your husband’s supply will be ready to collect eh.” I shouted over my shoulder. Stupid Janie always came way too early for her deliveries. It was as if her and her husband couldn’t be bothered to wait. However, the lack of response got me concerned. I left my axe wedged deep in the bark and made my way to the other side of my house – who was this?

This was the middle of the Canadian Shield boonies, and yet there was a woman dressed in professional purple attire standing in my driveway, something wasn’t adding up.

“Uh hey there,” I began, as I wiped my forehead again, “May I help you with something Miss?”

As if the woman was waiting for me to ask that, she marched over to me and handed me a weird envelope. “You look like the kind of woman who is suited for something better than tending to Janie’s trees.” I couldn’t help but laugh at her remark, “Ah shucks, sorry ‘boot that.” I then rip open the envelope, looking through it wide-eyed. 

“Wait a sec,” I began, “This is all..Aboot me.” I looked up at her, “How did you get this information?”

She fixed her glasses as she spoke, “My boss. Now, we think you’d be the perfect candidate for a mercenary position.” She said it like she’d said it multiple times in a row. I glanced back down and flipped through the papers.

“You murder your cheating husband and twin sister and suddenly you become the perfect mercenary…” I mumbled.

“You got that right.” She said, clearly holding back a laugh. 

“Well.” I handed the envelope back to her and scratched the back of my neck “Doesn’t seem like I’ve got muchofa choice now does it? You have so much dirt on me and could take that to the Mounties.”

The woman shrugged, “Not necessarily, but I think you should take the offer. You’ve got a gift Miss Matthews.”

“Ah hell, sign me up.”

[BLU - Annalise]

I took a long drag of my cigarette, laying in bed questioning my life choices. It was a daily internal fight. There was a chance I could’ve become a model, an actress, hell even a pornstar. But somehow, I landed on assassin. Who was I kidding though, the job was fun. I glanced at my calendar that rested comfortably on my nightstand, idly placing my index finger on the current day, nothing was planned.

I got out of bed with a relaxing stretch, my nightgown curling up with my form. I put out the smoke and prepared myself for the day.

There was a part of me that wondered if I would ever be acknowledged for my thankless job, that perhaps someone would come looking for me, desperate to hire me – and not just for the sheets.

The thought fleeted fast, I needed to prepare myself for whatever the day had in store for me. I made my way down the stairs when I heard noises coming from outside. I opened one of the many peepholes present in my walls – one could never be too careful – when I saw a woman who screamed client to me. Likely wanting me to capture and kill her ex-lover.

I made my way to the door before she had a chance to knock. A tried my best to hide my smirk as I opened the door.

“Bonjour Petite,” I began, placing a hand on the doorframe.

The poor thing looked like she was surprised to see me come to her first, she then grinned and handed me a crease-ridden beige-brown envelope – probably with the information I needed. I use my nail to open the contents. Seeing my face took me aback slightly, but I did my best to hide my shock. I thumbed through the file until I saw the last page;

“The Lumberjack. Is that a joke?”

“Ah, so you do speak English.”

“Reluctantly, I assure you.” I hissed, “But you already knew that didn’t you?” I then shove the page with the Lumberjack job description on it into her face.

“I may not be the cleanest rogue, but do I look like a lumberjack to you?”

“Aren’t you familiar with chainsaws?”

I hesitated; she wasn’t wrong. Slicing people up with a chainsaw was basically a kink for me. But I hadn't been addressed as "lumberjack" in years.

“If you’re still unsure,” She began, waving another envelope in the air, “We were planning on hiring one of your female companions as well.” I wanted to rip it out of her hands so badly, but I held back. I had a gut feeling I already knew who she was referring to. Good girl, looking out for me as she always does.

“I have two very simple requirements.” I waved my two fingers in her face, clearly causing her to become annoyed with me – perfect, she wasn’t hard to crack.

“Whatever living arrangements you have? I demand good ones. Alone. I do not share rooms with others.”

“Done.” She smirked, “and?”

“I don’t have to speak English all the time.” She clearly held back a laugh and nodded, “Doable, your teammates might not be pleased. Only one other speaks fluent French, but one is better than none right?”

I grabbed her hand gently and shock it, “Parfait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part two is up, one more to go!


	4. The Cryogenist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The lengthiest chapter to date; the BLU Cryogenist isn't a tough sell, but will RED Cryo be just as easy? How will Miss Pauling even find this woman?

[BLU – Luann Goldman]

“Let’s see, we’ve got space for one more before we have to relocate these guys.” I said, looking through my clipboard with my lab assistant beside me. He looked hesitant, almost pale, as if he’d never seen a frozen body before. 

“Uh Mrs. Gold-“

“Dr. Son, I’ve got a PhD for a reason.” I looked up from my sheets and made direct eye contact, “And I’m not married, taken, but not married, thank you.”

“Right, sorry Dr. Goldman.” He would likely forget again later, perhaps next time I can be colder. He then continued, “Where do we take the excess bodies again?” I rolled my eyes, taking in a heavy breath and tried to calm myself. I was never a fan of being a jerk, even when I really wanted to be one.

“Well, when we’ve got too many, we have to phone the Mounties so they can come check out whatever bodies they need to ASAP. Once the forensics team is done, we contact the family – if there is any left – and they take the bodies from there.” I offered him a gentle smile as I spoke, in an attempt to be nicer. 

“Right! Oh yeah that makes sense.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and turned back to the collection. “How does this stuff not scare you? I thought women were, ya’know, scared of dead bodies.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my two fingers. I mentally collected myself and reached up to put my hand on his shoulder, “I knew exactly what I was getting myself into when I made my focus on cryogenics and cryobiology.” I said simply, “Not all women fear dead bodies either, just so you’re aware. Don’t think like that.”

I could see the poor fool shiver now; some people just couldn’t handle the cold. I patted his back as we began walking to the door, “Let’s get you outta here, I may have space for one more body, but I’d prefer for it not to be yours yet.” I said with a giggle. He flinched at my joke, oh well. Too dark I suppose.

As we parted ways, I made my way to my office, when one of our secretaries stopped me, “Excuse me Dr. Goldman, but there’s a woman here for you. She said it was important.” I smiled and nodded, “Thank you, I’ll head over.”

Making my way to the waiting area, I immediately spotted a woman dressed so professionally. She was hugging a file folder as she sat so perfectly in her chair. When she died, I could tell her spine was going to be perfectly straight.

“Hi there, you wanted to speak with me?” I asked her, looking down at her until she stood up. She was taller than me, typical. She noticed my little smile and smiled back, “I know you’re a busy woman, so I won’t keep you long,” She then handed me the package, on the back of it I could see “BLU Cryogenist”. Perfect. 

“Oh honey,” I began, adjusting my lab coat for the last time, “I already took this position forever ago. You didn’t have to come all this way to pick me up, sweet of you though.”  
“Wait, you already know?” She seemed taken aback by it, causing me to let out another giggle.

“I was contacted forever ago by one of the men who works for you- or well, for them,” I coughed, smiling to myself, “I’ve always wanted the taste of something different. British Columbia’s got nothing more for me here.”

She then leaned down to my level, hand covering her lips as she whispered into my ear, “I don’t suppose you have a twin? We need your match for our RED team.”

I expected this question and dug through the clipped bag that latched onto my belt, pulling out a crumpled piece of yellowed paper.

“She’s no me, I’ll be blunt. You may have to train her, but she looks just like me – it’s creepy honestly.” I then handed the paper to the woman, who squinted her eyes to make out my chicken scratch. One of the many reasons why I went into chemistry and engineering instead of becoming a lawyer.

“Allison Vult?”

“That’s her. I think she’s a schoolteacher or something.”

The woman looked at me as if I was kidding, I almost felt bad. I put my hands in my lab coat pockets and shrugged, “Teachers can be taught new things, right? It’s probably part of their job descriptions.”

“Is she a chemistry teacher at least?”

I shrugged again, “I think it said she was a middle school teacher. I’ll be honest with you, take what you can get.” I tried to smile again, “But, you’ve definitely got me.”

Ms. Vult

[Miss Pauling]

Five down, and only five days had passed since we began this hunt. Not bad I must say. However, I couldn’t get over the fact that A. one of the women had already been approached by one of the mercs – who was he and why was Helen accepting of the decision – and B. that said woman’s counterpart was likely going to be a schoolteacher. The chances of this woman having a background in chemistry was likely slim, not to mention getting her to sign up for a job like this just sounded borderline impossible. Why would someone who works with kids sign up for such a violent job?

We were driving to our next destination, and Olivera was kind enough to offer to drive us. She and I had become chummy with one another since the start of this journey – she was surprisingly an extraordinary listener and sympathizer. I had mentioned our predicament with this last recruit, to which she simply responded with, “If the sheila says no, ya make her!”

Having someone go against their will could be messy, fun, but messy.

I had done further background research on the woman as we made our way to her work. She was a younger woman, with two bachelor’s degrees, but no PhDs to speak of. What was harder to swallow was that her bachelors were in art and English. A long stretch from chemistry or physics. She had never been arrested before, had never murdered anyone, but she had worked at a duck farm once! This was ridiculous.

A few hours passed until we arrived around the rocky mountain area. Olivera looked at the map then back up at the school. It was in the middle of buck nowhere.

Then Olivera gently tapped my shoulder, “Hey, we’re pretty close to Alberta. I heard Alberta’s like, Canada’s Texas. I bet that means she’ll be a sweetie!” She grinned at me, clearly attempting to cheer me up. 

“Cute, but it doesn’t matter if we can’t get her to join.”

I got out of the car and tried to fix myself up, the long car ride and days of endless travel were starting to affect me physically. I went into the small building, noticing a woman sitting behind a desk – probably the secretary. At least she had that in common with the other Cryogenist.

“Excuse me,” I said, tapping on the glass that separated us. The woman looked up and put on her best smile. She trotted over to me, her heels clicking with every step.

“Well hi there! How may I help you today?”

I gave her my best smile and fixed a loose strand of hair from my face – some professional I was being. “Yes, I wanted to speak with Ms. Vult?”

The secretary tilted her head, oh god, was she not here?

“Ms. V is in class right now, school hasn’t ended yet.” She said with her best smile, “If you want, I can leave a note for her or-”

“That’s okay.” I said promptly, “I’ll come back. When do classes end?”

She seemed even more confused, probably assuming I was a parent who should know better. “Ah well, we end our day at 3pm, so you’ve still got a few hours left.”

I try my best to not get annoyed, “Alright, thank you.”

I went back to the car, I took my seat and put my head in my hands.

“I take it she said no?” Olivera asked, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“No, she’s in class. We’ll have to come back later.”

Olivera looked away from me as if she were lost in thought. “Why don’t we at least take a look at her, see if we can get some idea of who she is through her teaching?”

I lifted my head from my hands and shrugged, “Not a bad idea, what’s the worst that could happen?”

It didn’t take us too long to find her class, it was one of the only ones in the school. I placed a little camera on the window ledge, and we made our way back to the car. I opened my computer to get a visual of her. The quality was spotty at best, but it worked. 

We could see a group of kids who were arguably taller than our target, all working on some sort of science experiment.

“Perfect! We get to see how she does with chemicals!” Olivera exclaimed.

I quickly hushed her, and we continued to observe. Luann wasn’t kidding, this woman was her twin. Though she was arguably shorter somehow. She had her hair up in a ponytail that seemed to bob with her every move. Admittedly not an attractive look for her. She was demonstrating to the class how to work with their assigned ingredients for what looked like an experiment on – how to create hot air fast. Okay, she was playing with temperatures. That was at least better to see than nothing.

My biggest concern was her kindness though, Olivera clearly wasn’t wrong about her theory. The woman seemed to always be smiling at her students, unless she was in thought. A bubbly personality was probably not the best for the battlefield. Even the sweetest mercs were able to be stone-cold and cruel when necessary.

Time seemed to fly as we observed our potential recruit, and before we knew it students were leaving the building. Finally. I was about to leave the car when Olivia grabbed my arm, “Wait, why don’t we follow her when she leaves, interrogate her at her home? This is probably not the place to be asking her to give up her job working with nice kids to work with scary kids- I mean mercenaries.”

I held back the urge to laugh at that remark, “Good idea. Then dragging her off won’t be as much of a pain either.”

Ms. Vult left the building shortly after school ended, and we were able to follow her green Chevrolet blazer. This was perfect. She was clearly too ignorant to realize we were following her. 

As she pulled into her driveway, she stood outside her car and turned to face us. Okay, maybe she had noticed us. She had a quizzical look on her face but did her best to smile at us.

“Can I help you ladies with something?” She asked, as I walked out of the car.

“Actually, yes you can. I wanted to speak with you about a job opportunity. May I come into your home so we can talk privately?”

Now she looked hesitant. Glancing back and forth between myself and Olivera.

“What kind of job opportunity? It’s not every day a teacher gets followed to her home by recruiters.” She was now fiddling with her car keys, likely contemplating running to her house and calling the police on us.

“Oh, I realize that” I tried to sound as peppy as possible, “But I assure you, it is the job opportunity of a lifetime.” I gave her my best smile to comfort her, it seemed to work.

“Well, okay.” She motioned for me to follow her, as she made her way to the front door, unlocking it with slightly shaky hands. She pushed the door open and motioned for me to go in first. 

At first glance, the house screamed bachelorette pad. It was neat but filled with various adorable figurines and plush. She was way too cute of a person to be a merc. This was going to be tough. The walls were painted a delicate shade of red, while the carpeting was a faint grey. She didn’t have much in the way of furniture, and it looked like it was from the 1800s. This was likely an inherited house. I turned to face her as she gently closed the door and draped her puffy beige scarf over a chair. She walked beside me and ushered for me to follow her into the kitchen.

This room absolutely screamed vintage. Everything looked like it was still run-on gas. There was a nice little collection of spoons that looked like they were likely German amply hung beside the fridge, while photos of various family members were spread out on the walls. She put on a maroon-coloured apron and turned to me, “Would you like some tea?” 

How sweet, how could I say no, “That would be lovely.”

As she prepared the tea, I pulled out the spare page that described the job description of the Cyrogenist. Despite the adorable, positive attitude that oozed out of this woman, I knew this was not going to be a fun experience. There was a long silence as she prepared my tea, normally I’d be hesitant to accept tea from someone – the chances of it being poisoned were usually higher than I’d like to admit. This woman though, I could only hope she’d tried to poison me.

After a few more moments of silence, she placed my cup delicately on the table, alone with a little jar full of sugar, and a little pitcher of milk. She sat across from me with her own cup, peaking at the paper before looking back up at me.

“Sorry I was so nervous earlier, that was so rude of me.” She said, her eyes now focused on the tea in her cup, “I’m always a little nervous around strangers.” A small smile formed on her lips as she looked up at me, “So, if you’re willing to still offer me the job, what is it?”

I took a sip of the tea, not poisoned, damn. I smiled regardless and pushed the paper towards her. Letting it do the talking for me.

She scooped up the paper with interest. Reading it over, but after only a moment she furrowed her brow, “Cryogenist? Those are chemists who work with liquid nitrogen aren’t they?” I nodded, happy to hear she knew what they were at the very least.

“I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m a teacher.” She said with a little giggle, it sounded similar to Luann's, except this one sounded more genuine somehow. 

“I know, but who says we can’t train you?” I tried to sound confident, even if I wasn’t.

She continued to read the paper, her eyes widening right where I expected them to. 

“Wait, defence, defending the point…M-Mercenary?!” She tightened her grip on the paper and looked up at me with what I could only describe as eyes of pure horror.

“Ma’am, I don’t mean to lash out but, I’m no mercenary! I took a profession that encourages development! If I want to end development, I would’ve gone for a job like this.” She bite her lip, as if reserving other thoughts from spewing out of her mouth. She took her shaking hand into her other hand, “I absolutely will not take on a job like this!” 

Upon hearing this, I felt the urge to knock her out and drag her back to the car, but she was such a bean. I contemplated all my options, when I realized the one that would likely work best for her – guilt.

“Ms. Vult, Allison, I completely understand how you feel.” I began, looking sorrowful at her, “I was forced into this job years ago, when all I wanted was to be a housewife.” I looked away from her, trying to tear up, “We are so similar, we aren’t meant to kill – though I have killed many, many times.” She seemed to want to speak so I went on, “But please, this job was made for you. The best part? You don’t actually have to kill anyone! You just have to freeze people!” She looked even more confused now – oops. “And you, you’ll be completely safe. This job is arguably one of the safest jobs there is!” I moved to stand right beside her, kneeled, and looked up at her with pleading eyes.

“I know this is a lot to take in, but I can safely assure you that your life was meant for so much more. Don’t you deserve a little taste of excitement in your life?”

She seemed to be coming around to the idea, biting her lip in thought. She glanced over at the photos on the wall, likely having nothing left to lose. I had to press on.

“There is so much excitement in this profession, and hey, it pays well too. You can start a fresh new life, as someone bold and daring!” 

Suddenly, she rose from her seat. I couldn’t tell if this was a good thing or not until she looked down at me, tears streaming down her face.

“But, if I take this job, I may never get the chance to have a family of my own.” She held her hand to her nose and mouth as she continued, “I lost my family years ago, I’ve lived on my own for far too long. I need to fulfill that empty gap in my life. I can’t do that when I’m out fighting people.”

Well, I now had two approaches, I could tell her how most of the team was men who likely hadn’t seen action in the last four years – besides Spy – or I can go the sweeter route.

“This group of people you’d be working with? They’d be like the family you always wanted.” I said, taking her hand as I stood back up to my full height, now looking down at her, “They could really, really use a maternal figure anyways.”

Her tears stopped, her body froze, she looked back down at the sheet of paper. I was shaking now too, I felt so much adrenaline oozing from my body, this was arguably the most fun I’d had trying to recruit someone. She looked back at me, a smiling growing.

“Alright,” she began, “I’ll do it.”

“Welcome to the RED team, Cryogenist. Now lets pack your bags!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew. There are all the main chapters. Now we get to get into the meat of this beast. The new dynamic shift with our lovely new ladies. What shenanigan's will ensue? Find out!


	5. Meeting Each Other

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How will the men handle meeting their new trio of team mates?

After the painstaking journey of acquiring the new recruits, Miss Pauling felt a sense of relief now having them all comfortably situated in the plane together. She thought it best to take the RED ladies first, then the BLU, as the RED team seemed like they could use a little more time to adjust to their new surroundings. Perhaps they should’ve had the RED Lumberjack go on the BLU, but then the BLU Cryogenist worked wonders with the BLU Lumberjack…Then why didn’t they have the BLU Illusionist on the RED team? Oh, but then her stories of her son may have upset the RED Cryogenist. Lord. It was likely better not to question the decisions that were made.

Miss Pauling and Olivera sat comfortably in the cockpit, while the trio of rookies sat in the back. Their luggage swayed with them, as they weren’t provided seating. Elizabeth, who had explained numerous times now that she preferred to go by Beth, sat lazily on her suitcase, holding her hockey stick – which was to be her melee weapon (as per her request), while trying to think of topics to discuss with the group. Carmella seemed disinterested by what Beth had to say though, and seemed more interested in the still shaking Allison, who clearly wasn’t prepared for their sudden departure.

“So,” Carmella began, taking a quick drag from her cigarette, “I can assure you that the jump from one profession to another isn’t as bad as it seems. Going from a magician to a mercenary was so easy for me! Well, after the first few kills.” She patted the trembling Canadian on the back as she spoke. This caused her to tense up more.

“I dunno though, I’m going to stick to my gu- word, and not kill anyone if I can help it.” Allison said, her hands resting on her shaking knees as she spoke to the floor.

Beth scoffed, moving her hockey stick over her shoulders while resting her wrists against the wood, “Good luck with that eh.” She then grinned to herself, “I just wish Janie was on the BLU team, it’d be fun to cut her head off a few times.”

Carmella shot her a glare, “You’re not helping.”

Already there seemed to be some tension between them. It was almost adorable. It was clear who was going to get along with who at the base. 

As Miss Pauling ease-dropped, she took some notes down. She figured the women would need to observe a few fights before they could be sent out to join – or at least one of the ladies needed it. Maybe she should partner them up to help? Then again, these were adult women, they could take care of themselves. Maybe she would just pair the Cryogenist with Heavy or something, just so she could have someone protect her till she got comfortable. Heavy was used to being a big brother, what harm would it be to give him a little Canadian sister?

Finally, after what felt like hours, they had finally landed back at the base. Miss Pauling left first and ushered the women to follow suit. She leaned back inside to talk to Olivera, “Just wait here for a little longer okay? I need to get them sorted and then we’ll go pick up the BLU Lumberjack and Illusionist.”   
“What about the BLU Cryo?” Olivera interjected. “She’s driving down.” Miss Pauling said simply. “She’s clearly been preparing for this.”  
Olivera let out a chuckle and nodded while giving Miss Pauling a salute. “Alrighty then, I will just wait ‘ere and read me book.” She then pulled out a copy of Pride and Prejudice – the perfect reading material while waiting.

Miss Pauling escorted the trio to the RED base, all three looking around as if this was some sort of exotic new location – and considering none of them were American, it was a fair assumption.   
The Lumberjack was the first to make a remark, “Looks just like home, a dump.” 

Carmella let out a howl of a laughter and Allison followed suit with a little chuckle, finally, something the three of them could all agree on. As they made their way into the base, Miss Pauling stopped them at the entrance.

“I need you ladies to wait right here, I’m going to have everyone meet in the mess hall so we can do proper introductions. I can’t promise that all of them are sane enough to not try and kill you on sight.” She put a finger to her chin and added, “Or be tempted to experiment on you.” She then scurried down to the first place she expected to find everyone – the lounge.

As the ladies waited, Carmella spoke up again, “Anyone else under the impression that we’re going to be viewed like oddities because of our breasts?” Beth immediately raised her hand, “Oh don’cha know it eh! But that’s fine. Gives us validation to kick some hoser ass if anything were ta happen.” Allison held her face in her hands, “I don’t do well with attention.”

“But you were a teacher, weren’t you?” Beth inquired.

“You misunderstand,” The shier Canadian moved her hands to reveal a flushed face, “I don’t do well with it because I love it.”

“Alright, I think that’s everyone…” Miss Pauling muttered, counting all the men in the room. She sighed as she looked over at Demoman, who was already drunk, “It would’ve been better if you were all sober but oh well.” She fixed her glasses as she let out a cough to get everyone’s attention. The room went silent, there were rumours that they were going to be replaced, or people were going to be removed, but nothing about new recruits. There was slight anxiety, but most of them knew that it was a silly assumption.

“So, um, I hope you’re all well.” Miss Pauling began, before Spy interjected, “Miss Pauling, if you could, cut to zhe chase.” He said sharply, his arms folded over his chest in frustration.

“Right,” She sighed, “You’ve got three new recruits coming in.” This caused commotion, to which Spy now cut it off, “Shut up.” He said courtly.

“Er, thank you. Now, we’ve got one new addition per class grouping – one new offense, one new defence, and one new support.” She took a breath to prepare for the second wave of commotion, “They’re all women.”

As if on cue, discussion erupted. Surprisingly, most of the comments were of “why” and “how the hell did they get women to sign up for this” Though she was able to hear Scout say “I wonder if they like buckets of chicken” which perturbed her.

“Stay put, I’ll go get them.” She said promptly, leaving the room to its chatter.

“Ya think any of them will be attractive?” Beth asked, now sitting back on her suitcase as she fiddled with her hockey stick.

“Probably, but I’m here for money, not for romance.” Carmella responded, smirking as she said this, “Romance doesn’t pay for my melbac wine.”

The conversation was interrupted by the sound of Miss Pauling’s steps, she sighed to herself, having overheard part of their discussion. “They’re ready for you.” She immediately noticed how the three women varied so dramatically in their stances:

Beth was looking confident, albeit tired. Her smirk quickly shifting to that of a stern expression, sharp and aggressive.

Carmella was putting out her third cigarette of the day, keeping her expression to herself. She was clearly an expert at reserving herself.

Then there was Allison. Still visibly shaken, still looking nervous. There was a hint of regret in Miss Pauling’s soul seeing her face – like she had made the worst mistake of her professional career dragging this poor innocent woman into this. Oh well.

As the trio followed Miss Pauling, they all admired the walls around them. It looked like they were in a barn of some kind, which was oddly quaint. Beth followed behind Miss Pauling confidently, while Carmella walked beside Allison.

Once they made it to the lounge, all eyes were on the new recruits. Funnily, only Beth seemed to scan the room, she huffed to herself shortly after. Carmella simply folded her arms over her chest and made no distinct eye contact. Allison held her hands in a V shape over her front, her eyes were closed, and she smiled politely.

“Would you mind introducing yourselves?” Miss Pauling said, feeling the awkward tension in the room.

Now Carmella decided it was time to be bold – or at least it was Allison’s time to be bold. She pushed the Canuck forward, causing the woman to open her eyes in shock. She then looked around the room, face flushed. She took in a breath and went into teacher mode.

“Hi there everyone, my name is –” she paused, “I mean, I am the Cryogenist. A pleasure I’m sure.” She then presented the most confident smile she could muster and proceeded to step back.

“I’m the Lumberjack and I’m okay.” Beth said, her thick Southern Ontario accent spilling from her lips, “I cut down trees, I skip and jump, I like to press wildflowers, and I kill hosers.” She said with the toothiest grin.

“I’m the Illusionist.” Carmella said coolly, not looking in anyone’s specific direction as she spoke, “And if I start speaking Spanish, I’m pissed.” She said simply, smirking to herself as she did. 

“Now,” Miss Pauling stood forward again, “I’m going to have them observe you guys on the battlefield for the first week, just so they get their bearings. Some of you have been at this for over six years; this will be their first time. They’ll be rusty.” She explained, taking note of everyone’s reactions to each other, “Also the BLU’s are getting three new women as well. Please don’t exclusively target them just because they’re new.”

“But don’cha be going easy on them or us eh!” The Lumberjack interjected, pumping her fist in the air, “Never underestimate anyone, ever.” She smirked, Scout pumped his fist in the air with her, “Preach sistah!” She looked over at him and pointed a finger gun at him, “I like you already.”

Miss Pauling coughed to get their attention back onto her, “I need to go show them their rooms, thank you for your time.” She then ushered the women out the door.

“Man, if I wasn’t dating Miss Pauling, I’d be picking one of them.” Scout said smugly, “You had one date with ‘er, that doesn’t count mate.” Sniper remarked, “And could ya be a bit more polite?” The others all laughed at the conversation, each seemingly having their own opinions on this update.

“¿Por qué? You can’t be serious?!” Illusionist shouted, furious upon discovering that they would all be sharing one room for the time being – or permanently. There was one spare room left in the building, the room which was initially designated for Sniper. However, because he chose to sleep in his camper van, the room had been vacant the entire time, and therefor would be perfect for one new member of the team. Three though, that was another story.

Miss Pauling sighed, it was already bad enough that she had to request adjustments to the BLU side so their Lumberjack could get the solo room she had demanded before signing, but she had hoped the RED team would be more accommodating and understanding.

“Look, I understand it’s not the ideal living situation. But this whole event was so spontaneous that even I didn’t know I had to prepare.” She spoke, her eyes seemed desperate for sympathy.

“Well, would it be too much trouble for us to at least have our own separate beds?” Cryo asked, peaking at the one small bed that lay in the right corner of the room. “That, I can do. But I don’t know if I can have it for tonight.” Miss Pauling took out a note pad and began taking notes, clearly this wasn’t going to be so simple.

“Well, don’cha ladies worry none. You two can share the bed, I’m good for sleeping on the floor. I’m used to it, eh.” Lumberjack said confidently, as if that were some sort of highly advanced skill.

“Perfect!” Miss Pauling clapped, “You’ve decided. I’ll try to have beds ready for tomorrow. Well, goodbye!” She started to walk off when Cryo gently grabbed her arm, “What if we need help?” “Oh, just ask the boys.” Miss Pauling shrugged, now she was running on empty, and she still had the BLU’s to go. It was their time to figure things out on their own.


	6. The First Supper

Despite the women no longer being in the room, they were still the centre of curiosity and attention. Having lived with the same 8 other men for over four years with minimal contact from the outside world was a unique experience, and now all of a sudden being assigned three new people - let alone women? It was a culture shock. Of course, they had contact with Miss Pauling and the Administrator, but they were different – to all except Scout. That is not to say that all of them had stayed intimate-less no, there were enough bars around Teufort to let that not be the case, but a feminine touch never went undesired. An attempt was made to try and agree to be nothing but professional with the new ladies, but if one of the women made a move first it was fair game.

Heavy was the first to note that they should try to make the women feel welcomed and proposed a special meal for the night. The rest of the team was taken aback by his courteous suggestion, but all complied. It was best to have the new mercs feel like they were truly part of the team. As Heavy was the one who suggested the idea, he was the first to rummage through their kitchen cabinets in the hopes of finding something outside their usual consumption. Beans, sandwich-making ingredients, “powdered beef”, lord. There wasn’t much to work with. It made him wonder how on earth Engineer was able to make meals all the time that didn’t feel repetitious. Spy came up with the brilliant suggestion of having someone go out to the store to collect ingredients for spaghetti. It was simple, fast, and the chances of someone burning the house down were slim. He considered cooking something a bit more, French, but he didn’t feel obliged to work hard for these women just yet.

The task to go to the store was placed on Scout, Engineer and Sniper, as they couldn’t trust Scout to go alone, couldn’t trust Engineer to be able to reach everything, and couldn’t trust Sniper to drive them all safely. The rest of the team had been tasked with preparing what they could at home, while Medic took it upon himself to give a personal introduction to the women and possibly start work on the installation of one of their uber hearts. He always got a sick kick out of the process and it had been so long since he got to do it last.

Meanwhile the women were still settling in, adjusting what little space they had to put their things. Of course, none of them took much out of their luggage in the hopes of being moved. Illusionist took it upon herself to break the silence as she plopped down on the flat bed.

“So, do you think we should go talk to them like normal people now and try not to be segregated?”

Cryo looked up from a photo she was holding and gently placed it back in her suitcase, standing upright in front of the two. “I would love that, they don’t seem too scary – except perhaps that one man in the doctors coat.” She trailed off, something about his appearance and face concerned her. Yet as if on cue, he knocked on the frame of their opened door.

“Guten tag frauens,” He began, keeping his distance to not alarm them further. The two taller women looked at him while Cryo hid her face in her hands in the hopes he hadn’t heard her say her last sentence. If he had he didn’t seem too offended as he then proceeded to walk in. 

“I am zhe teams Medic, jou can address me as such, or as doctor. I’m not particularly picky.” He began, “Now, as jou three are new, I must make appointments with each of jou before jour first battle to prepare jour bodies for war.” Lumberjack cocked an eyebrow, “I think ya could’ve worded that better Doc,” She said with a little chuckle, hoping to get him to blush. Her plan failed as he turned to her, narrowing his eyes, “Nien, I did not word that incorrectly. I will be giving each of jou a stronger, better heart than jour current one, so jou can withstand the respawning and ubering process.”

“Wait wait wait,” Cryo jumped from her place, looking up at the man as if he had just told her exactly what she had just heard. “Are you saying we’re going to be getting new hearts?” She clasped her hands in front of the one currently inside her chest. He laughed at her response and took a step closer to her, patting her on the shoulder, “Zhat I should’ve worded better. I will just be taking jour current heart out and improving it, zhen putting it right back in! It’ll be like nothing happened.” He then looked down at her, the shine from his glasses just barely hid his eyes, “I expected the chemist of the group to be the most understanding.” There was an awkward pause in the room, clearly only the women truly knew the situation. It was up to Cryo to tell him the truth but now did not feel like the appropriate time to do so.

“Ah, yes, of course. Silly me!” She laughed awkwardly.

“Medic!” Heavy came running in, another perfectly on-cue even. He seemed frantic as he grabbed Medic by his shoulder, “We need you in the kitchen – Pyro turned the burner on too high and now Soldier has abnormal burns!” 

“Mein gott.” Medic sighed, “Frauens, I will be doing jour surgeries tomorrow, whoever comes in first gets it done first.” He then turned to Cryo and grinned, as if to say, “you should be first.” As the duo left, Cryo fell to her knees, “I don’t think I can do this.”

“Senora, if you want, I’ll wait in the room with you?” Illusionist said, placing a gentle hand on her back, “Then that way I can know exactly what I’m in for!” She chuckled at her remark, but quickly hushed herself as she saw the woman below her look up, “Okay, okay. That would probably help.” She picked herself up and brushed off her knees, “Maybe we should go help them in the kitchen? Sounds like something happened.” 

Lumberjack took the opportunity to hop on the bed face first, “You two lovelies go do that, I’ma have a nap on the bed while it’s vacant.” Before anyone could attest, she was already snoring.  
Walking around the base felt like a maze, with their only indication of where to go being the sounds of someone howling in pain and the smell of something burning. Upon arriving at the kitchen, the chaos was made clear. Pyro was tied up and sat in a chair at the table, while Spy, with an infuriated look on what was visible of his face, proceeded to extinguish a massive flame that was coming from the stove top. Heavy and Medic were by Soldier, Heavy held him down as Medic tried healing the burns. The man looked as red as his uniform if not redder. Meanwhile Demoman was sitting at the table beside Pyro, already having another drink. He was the first to notice the women walk in and waved them over, “Oi lassies, come over ‘ere.”

Cryo smiled nervously, appreciating his kind demeanour, but recognizing the bottle he was drinking from. Without hesitation, Illusionist made her way to the table and sat across from him, Pyro waved his exposed hand to greet her.

“So, I take it this is normal?” She asked, smirking at the Pyro who seemed indifferent about being tied up.

“Ye, it’s normal for dinners to be this intense.” Demo responded, offering his scrumpy as he spoke, “Ya might needa drink ta handle this crew.” After a moment of inspection, Illusionist shook her head, “No thank you, I prefer wine.”

“MEDIC! BE GENTLER WITH MY PENIS! I CAN NOT AFFORD TO LOSE IT TO THE BURNING!”

The scrumpy bottle was snatched from Demo’s hands and the Illusionist took a swig. If she was going to have a headache, she’d prefer for it to be from a hangover and not from a screaming American lobster.

A shy Cryo tiptoed past the scene before her and went over to Spy, observing the now rusted to shit oven that was likely once white. She looked at the pot that was on the burner and noticed it was empty, but that there were dents inside of it that looked like burnt on bubbles. “Did he burn water?” She asked plainly, causing the Spy to sigh, “Unfortunately oui. ‘ou should probably get used to zhis.” He said as he put down the extinguisher. “No one ‘ere, except possibly myself, is an actual expert at cooking.” He then rummaged through his breast pocket to pull out a pack of smokes, “It’s infuriating.” She glanced back down at the pot, then at a slip of paper that read “spaghetti for idiots.” Which seemed like a rather oxymoronic thing to her. She looked back up at him and asked, “Where are the ingredients, I can make it.” 

“Zhis was meant to be a surprise for ‘ou,” Spy began, as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “But we clearly should’ve known better.” 

“That’s so sweet.”

“Don’t get used to it.” He shrugged, then offered a hand. “Pardon me, I’m being rude. I am zhe Spy, ‘ou’re the Cryogenist, non?”

She took his hand and shook it in a very professional manner, “Yes I am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Like wise, I’m su-”

“NO! I have to stay and follow my objective to assist in making these new pansy recruits feel comfortable!” 

“Come now Soldier, jour burns need time to heal, just come with me to zhe med bay und get some rest.”

“Negatory! Heavy put me down! That is an order!”

The mercs in the room watched as Heavy effortlessly carried Soldier away, following behind Medic. As they exited, the trio who were out shopping returned, all looking at the scene before them.

“What in the samhill happened to Soldier?” Engineer asked, placing two bags on the counter. “We’re gone for less than an hour and shit already hit the bloody fan.” Sniper replied with a chuckle. Scout dropped his stuff off on the counter and made his way to stand between Spy and Cryo, placing his elbow on the counter as he moved his hand to prop his head up. “You’re da Cryo right? How are ya liking the place so far?” He did his best to sound slick, but it fell flat. Cryo smiled sheepishly and shrugged, turning towards the bags the men brought in. “It’s good, kinda scary, but good!” Scout raised his finger as if to say more but gave up when he saw her get distracted. Spy nudged the shorter male with a smirk on his face, "Not a word Spy."

She then proceeded to inspect what the men had brought home, causing the trio to look at her curiously. Engineer waved his gloved hand and spoke up, “We can handle this ma’am, we’re supposed to be treatin’ you ladies tonight.” After a moment, she gave a satisfied nod, “I appreciate the kindness, but I’m sure you’ve been cooking for yourselves for years. How about I cook for you guys?” She offered, her polite smile refusing to leave her face. It seemed that was an unexpected answer as both Engineer and Sniper stood dumbfounded and turning to each other, while Scout scurried off to the fridge to get a can of boink. "Why can' we have more people begging to cook for us?" He mumbled into the fridge.

“Can’t argue with that one mate, I’ll go fetch drinks or somethin’ whiole you work on it.” Sniper spoke up, swiping his hands together as he began making his way out the door. Engineer was less easily persuaded, the kindness she offered him only furthered his need to do it, “Please, I insist. I’m used to cookin’ for the guys.” But as he rebutted, Cryo had already found an apron in one of the cupboards and was tying a loose knot in the back.

“How about we do it together then?” For the first time since she’d arrived on the base, she finally spoke confidently.

“Alrighty then, suppose I can’t argue with a compromise. But uh, you’re wearin’ mah apron.” And just like that the confidence drained from her face. She immediately started to fiddle with the knot, in a desperate attempt to take it off. Engineer let out a chuckle and waved his gloved hand dismissively, “That’s quite alright, I don’t need it that badly. It suits ya better anyways.” With that she glanced down at it, there was text on it that read “Smooch the Chef” however, someone had used a black marker and wrote “Short” beside “Chef”. Cryo looked confused until she looked back up at the man, realizing that he was short, but she was in fact shorter. She then looked around the room, it then clicked he was likely the shortest member – until she showed up. Even the other women were taller than him – Lumberjack being easily 5’11”, and Illusionist at 5’8”. It was probably a blessing for him that a shorter person was now a part of the team because she didn’t care about being called short. His charisma made it easier for her to feel comfortable, so she decided to respond to his previous comment with a cheeky retort.

“Well,” she began, placing her hands on her hips, “I’ll have you know I relish in being barely 5 feet tall.” She then took the boxed noodles out of the bag and moved to the stovetop, placing the box beside it while cautiously taken the burnt pot and refilling it with water. It was clearly the only pot big enough. Spy grew bored of watching the scene and interjected himself, “Being so petite may be an asset to 'ou on the battlefield, no one will see 'ou.” He smirked confidently, proud of his remark. Cryo, being naive in the moment beamed up at him, “You really think so?”

Spy rolled his eyes, only to receive an aggressive nudge to the arm, “Don’t be rude.” Engineer muttered.

Heavy came back into the room, looking around to inspect the situation in front of him; Pyro, Demo, Illusionist and now Scout were all sharing a conversation (or at least Demo and Illusionist were, while Pyro sat and eagerly listened and Scout looked annoyed), while Spy, Engineer and Cryo were working on the food…Wait.

Heavy made his way over and gently moved the little woman aside, “Plan was to make special noodle dish for women, not for women to make special noodle dish. Please, have a seat.” He motioned to the table, Scout noticed the situation and waved her over. Cryo smiled up at Heavy but shook her head, “I really appreciate it, but I offered to help, and I already got the approval from…” She paused, realizing she hadn’t even gotten any of their names, except for Medic and Spy. She sheepishly turned to Engineer and asked, “What was your name?”

“Well, I’m the Engineer, and that there is our Heavy Weapons Guy.” He said, motioning to the stern giant in front of her. Heavy extended his hand to shake hers, but when Cryo placed hers into his it was made very clear he couldn’t do a proper handshake – unless she wanted a fractured hand.

“If leetle woman wishes to help, I accept. Iz better than Pyro or Soldiers…” He trailed on, the last instance hitting his memory like a freight train. 

“’Ou know, zhere is such a thing as ‘too many cooks in zhe kitchen.’ I will ‘umbly sacrifice my space and go get some good wine to go with the meal.” Before anyone could argue, Spy strolled off. 

Meanwhile, Lumberjack finally woke up from her short-lived nap, missing the excitement. She clicked her tongue and groaned; she was parched. She knew everyone was in the kitchen but didn’t really feel like introducing herself to anyone yet, despite having such a boisterous personality, she wasn’t as social as one would expect. She decided the best course of action was to find the liquor storage space – probably in the lounge where they first introduced themselves. She strolled down the halls with her hockey stick in toe; she wouldn’t confess it to any of the others, but she was anxious. She had never left her comfy little farm in Ontario before, not since she killed her cheating ex-husband. The new environment felt off at best and sickening at worst. She knew it’d be better once she made a few acquaintances – it probably would’ve behoved her to have made a better bond with the other two ladies, but she wasn’t one to accept people into her life that easily.

Once she found the lounge, she saw the tall lanky Sniper sorting through various bottles, clearly trying to choose. _Fuck fuck fuck. She did NOT want to interact right now._

Unfortunately for her, Sniper, being true to his name, saw her out of the corner of his eye and turned his head over to her. “Ah, ‘ello. You’re the new Lumberjack rioght?” She gave a slightly awkward smile and leaned against the doorframe, “Yup, that’s me eh.” She crossed her hands over her chest, unsure if she should take a step further or not. The man seemed relaxed; the lack of high energy was appreciated. 

“Would’ja miond given me a hand? I can’t decide what drinks to bring up. Everyone’s got their preferences, but I’ve got no idea what you sheilas drink.” She nodded, internally groaning as she made her way in, trying to act calm and cool.

“Well, I don’t suppose you guys have any whiskey?” Sniper cocked an eyebrow. “It’s my poison of choice.” She said with a smirk.

He glanced down and brought his hand to his chin, “I know Spoi drinks the stuff, but I wouldn’t recommend touching his stash. Could see if Demo has any Scottish-”

“Nope.” Lumberjack cut him off, waving a finger in his face, “I’m a true Canadian. I only drink Canadian whiskey.” She smiled to herself as she spoke, causing Sniper to chuckle, “A true patriot? I can respect that.” He then pulled out a bottle of fosters beer, “Fer tonight, would ya settle for some Aussie beer? Support my roots.” He passed her the bottle. She eyed it up as if it were a prescription, “It’ll do. Thanks, eh.” She then smiled up at him, only for her to scowl as she heard him snicker, “Eh? Ah, you really are a true Canadian.”

“Says the man who called a buncha women sheilas! A true Aussie.”

“Got that rioght.” He said, tilting his hat as he said this, smirking at her.

Looking back into the cases of liquor, Lumberjack pulled out a few other selections, “I think the Illusionist mentioned something about wine, so she’d probably enjoy that. As for Cryo…” She put her finger to her lip in thought, “She’s probably too innocent to be a drinker. She’s a shy one don’cha know.” Sniper turned his back to the table in the centre of the room, placing his hands on it and letting his weight set into his arms.

“I noticed. She doesn’t scream mercenary ta me. But, even the most innocent people can be the best professionals.” He then pointed upwards, “You’ll notice a few of our teammates are lioke that. Kinda quiet or polite, but experts.”

Lumberjack put her hands on her hips, “You’re pretty polite, would you say you’re a professional?”

“Got that rioght. I’ma true professional sniper.” He said, looking down at her with a toothy grin. 

“Si vous plaitez, could 'ou get a room?” Spy was standing at the doorway now, hands over his chest with a smoke amply placed between his right index and middle fingers. In his other hand he held a bottle of one of his nicer French wines. Sniper simply rolled his eyes, but Lumberjack took offence.

“Hey! We were just having a conversation Frenchie.” Her words were laced with venom. She wasn’t a fan of francophones, or people who pointed out how she was feeling subtly. She bit into her inner cheek to stop herself from saying more. Spy laughed to himself and started walking away, “I prefer the shorter one.”

“Don worry ‘bout him. He can be a pain in the behiond.”

“Then who isn’t a pain in the behind here, eh?”

After an hour, everything was set and ready to go. Scout and Pyro were instructed to get the others to the mess hall. Neither Heavy nor Engineer could deny it, this was the first time the food looked fancy. It wasn’t the first time either had cooked, but it looked less like “food for the sake of nourishment” and more “food prepared with love.” 

Sniper and Lumberjack came into the room and plopped their cargo boxes full of booze on the counter, laughing and chatting all the while. To say they had an instant bond was an understatement.

“Hey Cryo!” Lumberjack hollered over to the place-setting Canuck.

“What is it?” She asked, patting down her – or well Engineer’s – apron as she walked over.

“What do you drink? Do you even drink alcohol?” Lumberjack asked, glancing up at Sniper as she asked.

“Oh, um, I don’t suppose there’s any vodka?” 

There was an awkward pause, and Sniper shoved his open palm in front of a sour looking Lumberjack, “Ten bucks, mate.” He said with a smirk. Lumberjack grumbled and took out her wallet. 

“Leetle woman likes vodka? Heavy has excellent choices straight from Russia,” Heavy called over his shoulder, currently placing the massive pot of food on the table.

“Oh! Would you mind sharing?” Cryo asked, making her way over to him – while ignoring the little bet that she had just witnessed.

“Da, of course! It’ll be Heavy’s welcoming gift to you.” He said as he left the room to grab it.

As he left, all the other classes made their way inside the room. Everyone’s noses filled with the fresh smell of well-cooked food. There was never a specific seating arrangement, but there was a silent agreement of who was sitting where tonight. Demo sat between Soldier, who was healed up and wrapped in bandages, and Illusionist was on his right. Scout and Pyro took their seats near the end of the table. Medic took the spot beside Soldier, leaving a vacant seat for Heavy beside him on the other side. Sniper and Lumberjack made their way when Scout slapped the vacant seat beside him, “Hey LJ! Why don you take a seat beside me?” He smirked as he said this, causing the woman to chuckle, “Sure, why not.” Spy took his place beside Sniper, looking at the scene that was playing out before him. Engineer sat beside Spy, with the vacant seat between him and Heavy presumably set for Cryo. It made sense for the three chefs to sit together.

Heavy came back as Cryo took her seat, he plopped beside her and showed off his selection – four very expensive looking bottles of Russian vodka. It was hard to choose.

Despite the three women being new to the team, the group dinner seemed to get everyone comfortable with each other fast. Any shyness, anxiety, or intentional ignorance was thrown out the window. 

Hours passed, and the whole team remained awake and continued to drink. At this point everyone was taking turns introducing themselves to the ladies, giving vague backstories and trying to give them a better understanding of who all they were working with. The real fun began once the men started asking odd ball questions about the women; like what they did before becoming mercenaries, what their marital status was, but most importantly their ages. If it wasn’t for the liquid courage, one would assume such questions would not be posed so freely, but no one seemed upset by the questions.

Everyone seemed indifferent about Lumberjack’s previous work, but all drank to her murdering her cheating spouse and twin sister. Medic, who had also been divorced, was the first to clank glasses with her. There was a high demand for Illusionist to do a magic show after she explained her past role as a magician’s assistant – she bluntly said no. When Cryo mentioned her teaching job however, there was an awkward silence. As if it was impossible to believe someone who worked with kids would suddenly become a mercenary. Her response was that she needed a fresh start, and this was the opportunity that presented itself. While there was some truth to the statement, she felt it best not to admit that Miss Pauling guilted her just a pinch.

The next question was answered with confidence and ease from all three women, single or divorced. Cryo had only ever been in one semi-serious relationship before, but it went nowhere. While Lumberjack was obviously divorced, and Illusionist had been married twice before – each time only lasting a few months.

What was most interesting was the last question and its answers. Illusionist was the oldest of the three at 46, while Lumberjack was 34. Cryo on the other hand was officially deemed the shortest AND youngest member of the RED team, after admitting she was only 24. This caused an excited holler from Scout, happy to finally not be the baby of the team. Things started to click fast with how the ladies acted and how their personalities stuck out, based on the newfound information.

As the night drew to a close, and the drunk mercs realized they had a mission in the morning, everyone started heading to their rooms. Lumberjack however was stopped by Sniper, who poked her shoulder and whispered something to her, causing her to laugh and nod. She started following him when Illusionist called her over, “Where are you going?”

“Oh, I was offered a bed for the night, eh.”

The two other women exchanged looks.

“He’s sleeping in a chair calm down. It’s so I can get a goodnights rest on the first day.”

Luckily, only the women and Sniper remained in the space. Sniper hid his face awkwardly, trying not to come off as the creep he felt the others assumed him to be.

“Well that’s so sweet of him!” Cryo chirped, decidedly assuming it was a kind and innocent offer. “You two have a good night. We’ll see you in the morning.”

As Illusionist and Cryo went to their room, Illusionist closed the door and put her hands on her hips, “Dios Mio. One day in and already she’s fucking one of them.”

Cryo laughed at her remark and began taking off her overshirt, revealing a black thin tank top, “At least it’s not Demo though right?~” 

The amount of times Illusionist’s expression changed in a single moment was incredible. She sat on the bed with a huff and crossed her legs, “Oh please. I was having polite banter with him. Unlike Lumberjack, I’m not easy.” She then proceeded to take off her own jacket, revealing just her bra. There was a silent mutual agreement that whatever they wore to bed didn’t matter as long as they weren’t naked.

A moment passed until Illusionist spoke up again, “Though he is pretty attractive.” She thought aloud, “Dios mio.” She put her hand over her face, “I’m a mercenary, not a schoolgirl.”

Cryo laughed again and laid down on the bed behind the Argentine, “I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing. But we should focus on the work, right?” 

“You are absolutely right mi amiga.” Illusionist let herself lay beside the smaller woman, “Focus on the work. If I have sex with him it’s a bonus.” There was another awkward pause before Cryo burst out laughing, “You are so adorable!” 

_“Cállate!”_


	7. Men at Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another day on the base before a mission. Except Medic gets to indulge in another uberheart surgery!

“WAKE UP YOU FILTHY SHE-MAGGOTS!” Soldier’s fist bashed itself against the wooden door of the ladies’ room, causing the two to stir in their unrest. His action was so aggressive that the door shock with every knock.

Cryo was the first to open her eyes, her back was pressed against the cold metallic wall while the rest of her was barely covered by the blanket. Her body begged for ten more minutes of sleep, but the knocking didn’t cease. She sat up from her position and glanced over at her bed buddy, who also didn’t have much of the blanket on her. The other body slowly rose from its position, letting out a long yawn to clarify that it did in fact have a working brain to go with it.

“Fuck.” Illy mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“Soldier, you can stop now!” Cryo cried, stretching as she spoke, “We hear ya.”

There was a well needed silence, it felt almost peaceful.

“GOOD. GET TO THE MESS HALL WHEN YOU’RE READY.” The sound of Soldier’s thick army boots hitting the wooden flooring was the sound of true reprieve. 

Illy was the first to get out of bed, her sock-covered feet touching the soft blanket that was haphazardly laying on the floor. “So that’s where it went.”

As she got up, she went to her suitcase to grab her morning essentials. Thankfully, there was a bathroom exclusively for the women, however, considering each man had their own bathroom, this wasn’t as great a luxury as it should have been. She crept open the door slowly, allowing Cryo some privacy. She took one step forward and her foot met with another piece of fabric. It seemed that last night Miss Pauling had dropped off the ladies’ new uniforms, and Illy just so happened to have stepped on Lumberjack’s.

She scooped up Cryo’s new RED attire and opened the door again, gently placing the clothing on the floor inside, she then picked up her own uniform and headed to the washroom – no sense taking Lumberjack’s anywhere, since she was likely not going to be staying in the shared room.

After entering the tiny washroom, she noted that there was no shower present. “That’s concerning.” She mumbled to herself, but decided that was something to scope out for later.  
As the Latina stood in front of the mirror, she lifted the uniform up to take a good long look at it. It was surprisingly nicer than she had expected. The outfit included a skin-tight black body suit, with the collar going right up the neck. There was also a bright red coat with a thick collar, a pair of sleek white gloves that went up just above the wrist, a basic black belt with a holster, and long white boots. The boots had a bit of a heel to them, so their practicality was debatable at best – but hell was this a cute outfit. As she put on the coat, she noticed her class emblem on both sleeves; a spade in red with that signature orangish-yellow circle around it. Classy. After putting on the ensemble, she tied her hair back in a messy downward ponytail, allowing her hair to drape over her face. She couldn’t deny how sexy she felt, and how excited she was to get blood all over it.

As she walked out, she was met with a patient Cryo, humbly waiting for her turn. She too was inspecting her new uniform and seemed all too eager to try it on.

While the Illusionists attire was meant for movement and physical appeal, the Cryogenists was explicitly meant for practicality. Considering she was working with liquid nitrogen, it only made sense for her to wear gear that would keep her safe from her own weapons. The first thing she noticed was the pair of clear protective glasses – they were big, but easy to put on. For the moment, she decided to place them on her hair. Her coat was thick and covered most of her upper form, however it was not afraid to show off a portion of her black tank top hidden underneath. It was the same shade of red as Illy’s coat. The coat also had faux fur around the neck and sleeves, in an elegant beige colour. Her pants were far more basic; a simple pair of black pants made from a sturdy jean material. Her boots were that of snow boots, except shaped almost perfectly to her feet, they were the same red as the coat. Her outfit also came two holsters, except hers was in a deep brown. One looked like it was meant for a gun, while the other looked like it was meant for a small knife. Just like most of the others, her class emblem was situated on both sleeves, a simple snowflake design made from diamond shapes. Lastly, she put on a pair of sleek winter gloves that were the same orange hue as the patch with her symbol on it. As she looked in the mirror, she adjusted her new glasses, lowering them to the bridge of her nose to see how well she could see through them. While visibility wasn’t an issue, her eyes were almost completely hidden behind the frosty blue-hued lens, so she decided to keep them on her head for the time being.

Once Cryo was finished, she scooped up Lumberjack’s outfit and made her way to the mess hall, the smell of freshly brewed coffee filling her nostrils as she got close. Once inside, she could see Illy showing off her new uniform to Soldier, Demo, Pyro, and Heavy.

“Pretty impressive right? It feels so breathable too.” If she had been paying better attention, she would’ve noticed the way Demo was staring at her so intently. 

“Da, it suits Illusionist well.” Heavy said, Soldier and Pyro nodded in agreement.

“Aye,” Demo began, trying to sound relaxed, “It accents yer best features.” He felt himself holding back, in an attempt to not be too bold this early in the morning.

Illy did her best to also sound calm and impartial, “Aw, gracias.” But she was secretly loving Demo’s praise.

Cryo made her way over to the kitchen area, seeing Engineer work hard at preparing pancakes for everyone. She was beginning to realize that he wasn’t kidding when he said he was usually the only one who cooked for the team. He was wearing his apron – the one which she used – and didn’t seem to notice her come up beside him.

“Good morning chef,” She said with a little laugh, grabbing a mug from one of the lower cupboards to get herself some coffee.   
He turned to her and beamed, “Ah, mornin’ Cryo. How was yer first night in the base?”   
She bit her lip as she poured her coffee, “Not the greatest admittedly,” she began, then noticed he didn’t have a mug nearby and grabbed one to pour a second cup. “I’m sure I’ll get used to it once I get my own bed.”

Engineer paused what he was doing and turned to face her, “Ya mean ya’ll shared a bed last night?”

“Oh well, not all of us. Just Illusionist and I, Lumberjack slept in Sniper’s camper or something…” She put a finger to her chin as she trailed off, she was definitely going to be asking questions when she saw her fellow Canadian next.

The Texan took a moment to comprehend the information that was just relayed to him. Though he wasn’t surprised in the slightest at the revelation of Sniper inviting the taller Canadian over for a sleepover. During the drive with Sniper and Scout the day before, Sniper openly said how he found Lumberjack attractive – it was odd to say the least, he’d never expected Sniper to be so blunt. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it slightly funny and intriguing though, despite Sniper having only known the woman for less than an hour at that point. The cheesy Texan was a fan of love at first sight stories.

His train of thought was cut short when Cryo spoke up, “Would you like some help again this morning? I’d feel so bad making you do all the cooking by yourself. Especially with three more mouths to feed and all.”

Before Engineer could respond, Spy came out of seemingly nowhere, likely having cloaked himself to ease-drop before entering himself into the conversation. He placed a hand on Cryo’s shoulder and said, “Don’t be, zhe labourer is used to it.”

“Ah!” Cryo held her hand to her chest, looking frazzled. “Oh Spy, you startled me.” She began, “But good morning!” She then got out a third mug, but Spy stopped her, “Merci, but no need to do zhat. I made my own coffee.” He then examined her uniform, “Nice new suit.” Only just realizing the change in the short females attire, Engineer chimed in, “Oh uh yeah! It’s a nice look for ya.”

Cryo turned away from them both, fixing her coffee with milk, “Oh, you’re both too kind. I’m quite fond of it myself.” She then paused, “But I don’t mind getting pancake batter on it! Let me help!”

After the room started filling up with the rest of the mercs, Sniper and Lumberjack finally made their way in. They were laughing amongst themselves when Lumberjack spotted Cryo helping Engineer with breakfast, mostly noticing her new outfit.

“Hey Al-Cryo.” Lumberjack began, adjusting her shirt as she spoke, “When did you and Illusionist get those sweet uniforms?”

Cryo turned her attention to the taller Canadian and motioned to the neatly folded uniform and boots on one of the chairs, “We got them last night – or early morning. We think Miss Pauling dropped them off for us.” She smiled, “She’s such a sweetie and hard worker.”

Without a second thought, Lumberjack rushed over to the pile and lifted the red blouse, only to reveal a pair of bright orange-yellow suspenders that went with it, “Oh sweet, the perfect lumberjack attire. Suspenders, blue jeans, big brown boots, grey gloves and…OH GEEZ!” She raised the brown pair of visors high, “What a beauty eh.” She put them on first, then placed them on her hair just how Cryo had with her protective glasses. “I’ll be a beast out there, eh!” She then peaked at the sleeves of the blouse, “Oooh! An axe logo, the perfect lumberjack symbol.” She rushed to one of the washrooms to go change, indifferent on whose she invaded.

“Jou know, none of jou should have changed just yet,” Medic said while looking from Illy to Cryo, “Or did jou forget zhat today I will be preforming jour surgeries?” He made sure to watch Cryo for her reaction as he said this, causing her to jump in place.

“B-b-but don’t you guys have a mission today? And we have to observe it?” Cryo stuttered, hugging the plate she was holding.

Medic laughed, “Oh, zhat doesn’t start until 4pm. Plenty of time to get all of jou fixed up.” He then adjusted his glasses, “I’ll do jours right after breakfast.”

There was a little yelp from the tiny Canadian as she nearly dropped the plate she was holding. She then turned to Illusionist, “You’re coming with me to watch over me still, right?”

“Ah, oops.” Illusionist hid her face behind her mug, “I made plans to go to the store with Demo to get some more drinks for us all.” She smiled sheepishly, “I’ll get you some vodka?” 

Cryo bite her lip, reluctantly nodding, “Oh! Yes of course, Alberta Pure please.” She walked back to the stove to check on how their breakfast was doing, trying to hide her stress. She wasn’t great at hiding her emotions however, and when Engineer turned to her to talk, he saw the anxiety plastered on her face. He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck, “Ah don’t know how appropriate this is, but if ya really need it, Ah can stay in the med bay with ya while the Doc does yer procedure.” 

“Oh, would you?” She beamed, “I get nervous easily when it comes to surgery. I know it’s silly.” She bowed her head and added in a low whisper, “I assure you I am an adult.” As if on cue, Lumberjack returned and rested her arm comfortably on top of Cryo’s head, “I’m doubtful, eh.” She said with a laugh, “You’re apparently the teams new baby.” Cryo hid her face in her hands, “Lumberjack...”  
After everyone had finished their breakfast, Lumberjack had offered to do the dishes with Sniper as it was his scheduled turn to do them. Illusionist had a pen and paper in front of her, remaining at the table as she took down everyone’s liquor requests. 

“Can you get me some uh, basic beer?” Scout asked, looking sheepish. Illy put her pen down and gave him a quizzical look, “Are you even old enough to drink?”

“Wha-? Hey! Yeah, I am. I’m almost 30 lady come on!” He put his hands on his hips and gave her a pout. She turned to Soldier and Demo for affirmation, to which Soldier remained expressionless and   
Demo nodded hesitantly.

“Huh, oh, perdone.” She scribbled down the phrase “some generic American beer for Scout.”

Demo rose from his seat and stretched; his bones creaked with the sudden movement. “Alright lass, we’d betta head out. Medic wants ye back before the battle so he can dissect ya.” 

“Shhh, senior, not so loud.” She nudged him in the chest, “We don’t want to give our little Canadian another panic attack.” The two shared a chuckle as they headed out the door. Scout stuck his tongue out and rolled his eyes, “They’re so disgusting.” 

Soldier stood up and waved a finger at Scout, “They’re having normal human bonding, which on the battlefield is disgusting. We’re not on the battlefield at the moment though.” He placed his hands on his hips confidently, “So it’s fine with me.”

“But what would you say if they did act all chummy on the battlefield Soldier?” Lumberjack hollered over her shoulder, lazily drying a plate as she eavesdropped. It was hard not to when Soldier’s voice boomed throughout the room.

“There would be hell to pay!” He said sternly, then marched over to her, “That goes double for you, Canuck. No funny business on my battlefield!” He pointed his index finger right into her face, barely touching her nose.

“I identify as a Maple Leaf, thank you.” She retorted, “But I’ll keep that in mind.” She grinned as he peaked under his helmet, his eyes seemed to pierce through her soul, and she was loving it. “I’ve got my eye on you, Canadian.”

“At least buy me dinner first.” She said with a hearty laugh, “Don’t worry Yankee, no tricks.”

Meanwhile, Medic was preparing the operating table for the little Canadian, who was instructed to wait outside until he was ready for her. Engineer patted her shoulder sympathetically, still having his coffee mug in his gloved hand. “Ah promise ya, this’ll go by so fast. Ya won’t even notice the Doc did anythin’!” He forced a smile, he felt bad fibbing to her. He would never forget what he and his teammates went through. Apparently, some of his teammates didn’t even have their original hearts anymore. He wasn’t even sure his was his own. That was a concern for another time however, right now he just wanted to ease the poor shivering woman.

“Is Medic usually so, intimidating though?” Cryo whispered, not wanting the German to hear. “There’s something about him that I just can’t put my finger on, but it stresses me out.”

Engineer contemplated mentioning Medic’s odd tendencies, fascinations, and how he had lost his medical license and gave everyone a different explanation as to why that was but decided against it for the time being. He continued to keep his diligent smile, “He’s only intimatin’ until ya get to know him. Ah’d argue he’s one of our most charismatic teammates! Why Ah chat with him all the time about science and whatnot.” He then snapped his fingers, “That’s it! Ya’ll can discuss chemistry together. You’re the cryogenist after all.” 

Cryo bit her lip harder and leaned towards him, “You remember how I said I was a schoolteacher before?” Engineer chuckled and let out a short “Ya?”

“Well, that’s all I’ve ever done. I have no chemical background whatsoever.”

There was a pregnant pause, she could not be serious. This poor woman was going to be eaten alive on the battlefield. Before Engineer could respond Medic rushed through the doors and yanked the woman up on her feet.

“I’m all ready for jou! Now come, ve have vork to do.” He dragged her to the still moving doors, Engineer started to follow when Medic looked over his shoulder, “Vith all do respect mien friend, I vork best when it’s just me und my patient.”

Reluctantly, Engineer nodded and waved the now horrified Cryo off, “It’ll be alright Ah promise!” He shouldn’t have promised anything.

“Now zhen,” Medic was no longer wearing his lab coat, nor was he wearing his medical gloves. He had a medi-gun pointed right at the table Cryo was meant to lay on. Everything seemed so bizarre to the woman, she just hoped it would go by fast. Medic patted the table and she reluctantly climbed on top of it, laying her back down on the cold metal.  
“I’m going to have jou take in a deep breath now.” Medic said, taking out a scalpel.

“A-aren’t you going to put me under first?” Cryo asked, the German laughed and flipped the switch on the medi-gun, a strong tingling sensation rang throughout her body, it felt almost euphoric.

“Zhat is me “putting jou under” frau.” Without warning, he then cut straight through her coat and shirt, going all the way down to her flesh. She let out a little yelp despite not feeling any pain. She then watched in horror as he moved the clothes and flesh to reveal her innards. Her ribcage was exposed, revealing her beating heart and moving organs. She tried to look away when Medic began speaking again, “Now now, don’t be such a baby. Zhis won’t take me too long at all. I see jour heart is right here.” He then tenderly took her heart out of her ribcage with surprising ease. He held the beating organ up high, and she looked in pure horror. He then went to grab what looked like a clock with needles in it, then slammed the piece into her heart.

“Okay, let’s see here if jour heart is strong enough for zhis.” He then moved towards the guns glowing red rays and held the beating organ up to it. It started pumping faster, and faster, looking like it was going to work. Cryo closed her eyes out of pure terror.

POP!

Her heart wasn’t as strong as he had hoped. Cryo shot her eyes open, looking at the doctor who had now rushed to the fridge. “What was that??” She squeaked, only for him to reappear with another heart in his hands, it was bigger than her original heart, but she didn’t notice. He ignored her question and got the heart to successfully receive the treatment. He then slammed it into her ribcage. “Zhat was just the sound of mein medi-gun getting jour heart perfect, nozhing to vorry about.” He said with an awkward laugh.

“So, I have my original heart inside of me?” She asked with a shaky voice.

“J-ja, of course.” Medic lied.

Positioning the gun right at her exposed chest cavity, the rays of the gun washed over her body as her flesh and clothes began sealing themselves back up perfectly, as if nothing had happened.  
“And zhere ve are. Now zhat vasn’t so bad now vas it?” Medic asked, pinching Cryo’s cheek with his bloodied hand. She wiped her cheek and shook her head, “I guess not.”

“Good, now off jou go. I have to prepare for Illusionists procedure.”

Without hesitation, Cryo left the space. There was a gathering waiting for her outside. Scout, Heavy, and Engineer were all sitting down when they turned to face the now thunderous doors as they opened to reveal the patient.

“How does leetle woman feel?” Heavy asked, being the first to stand up.

“Okay, I think, a little nauseous after seeing my internal organs, but I’ll be okay.” Cryo admitted. Scout was first to rush to her side, draping his arm over her shoulders, yanking her against him, “We knew you had it in ya!” She then winced, feeling her insides shifting as he did that. “Please be gentler with me right now?” She asked in a whimper, holding her chest right below her breast. “Oh right, yeah sorry.” Scout scooted away. 

“We wanted to help ya learn a bit about our battles before today’s mission. Train ya a bit.” Engineer said, clearly having told everyone about the Canadian’s previous confession.

“Da, we thought showing you some of our training techniques would encourage leetle woman to be great killer.” Heavy added, giving her an awkward thumbs up.

“O-oh, thank you.” Cyro began, “But I think I need to lay down first.”

“We’ll just set up a chair for ya, ya don’t have to participate today.” Engineer assured her, placing his hand on her shoulder, and guiding her down the hall as Heavy led the way with Scout in tow.

Lumberjack and Sniper had finished the dishes a while ago and were now just drinking coffee and chatting again in the lounge. Sniper was polishing one of his rifles at the table as Lumberjack was telling him about her escapades hunting in the Ontario bush from her seat on the couch. When they found out that both had a passion for hunting, it became the centre of their discussions.

“Oh yeah, my main favourite animal to hunt was moose, eh. They’re kinda gamy at first, but with the right gravy? Oh my goodness.” Lumberjack felt herself begin to drool, wiping her lips slyly. “What was your favourite thing to hunt in the Australian Outback?”

Sniper took a moment to think but grinned to himself as he looked through his clean scope. “Oi’d have ta say roos. The meat is delicious, the game is fun, Oi enjoy a proper chase.” The female leaned back in her seat, her arms moving behind her head so she could rest on them. “Isn’t the thrill of the hunt why most hunters still hunt nowadays, eh?” She began, lowering her glasses over her eyes. Sniper snorted, “Well that and ta get dinna on the table.”

“Oh right, you live in your van. Of course, you gotta get your own food.” Lumberjack chuckled to herself, “For some reason I forgot you’re not a city person. Mind you I’m not either, eh.” 

“Probably how ye were able ta get away with killing your ex rioght?” Sniper responded, glancing over at her. The Canadian laughed, “Got that right.” However, she clearly felt discomfort in his question, it felt like he intentionally derailed the conversation. “To be clear, I haven’t killed any of my ex-boyfriends.” She began, causing the Aussie to lower his gun and focus more intently on her. “He and my twin were my first kills, and the only people I’d kill for free.” 

The Bushman placed his rifle on the table and made his way over to the couches, sitting on the long one right beside the recliner the woman sat in. He made direct eye contact with the Ontarian as he asked, “Whot kinda man has sex with his wiofes twin sista?”

“The kind that sees what kind of a beauty the sister is compared to his own wife.” Lumberjack muttered, leaning forward, and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Her name was Jolene. She was my identical twin. We looked the same, we sounded the same, but we were so different. She was the violinist, the charmer, the one with academic smarts ‘n’ such, eh.” Lumberjack pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pants pocket, reminiscing about her sister tended to trigger her need for tobacco. “I was more physically powerful, I gained muscle mass fast, I was the one who wanted to play hockey with my pals,” The lighter she’d pulled out had a quaint maple leaf on it in white, while the rest of the lighter was navy. As she lit her smoke, she smirked to herself, “I was so obsessed with hockey that the Toronto Maple Leaf games were my one true sanctuary away from her and our parents praise.” She took a moment to take a drag of her cigarette, then passed it to the outreached Australian hand to take his turn with it.

“I worked in the lumber yard with my old man, he appreciated my strength. Use to praise me in Dutch.” She chuckled to herself, “My parents are both from Europe. Mom’s Polish and dad’s a first gen Canadian – came from Holland, eh.” She began playing with her hands, her fingers lingering and overlapping, “Then I met the good Jewish boy who would be my husband, Theodore. He was so handsome, definitely the kinda man you wanna take home to your bubala.” She smiled to herself, but the smile faded fast. “I was never as committed to the faith as he was, but my sister...” Lumberjack took the cigarette back, the smoke escaping her lips like steam leaving a furnace. Her husband was once her whole world, but he realized that Jolene was the better of the two of them and went for her. “I found the divorce papers, then I caught them on Valentine’s Day. A week later the family found them dead in her house with bullet wounds. It looked like a robbery-turned murder.” She finished her story with a stretch, her suspenders stretching with her form.

After hearing the story, Sniper leaned in, tempted to touch her, but hesitated. “So, yer family found out they had an affair?” Lumberjack laughed, “Oh lord did they ever. My mother was already dead by then, but my father? He had a barrage of mixed feelings. It was sad to see his daughter dead, but to know that one would do such a thing to the other? But my dad avoided me like the plague after, eh. He didn’t want to look at the face of Jolene, even if it wasn’t her face.” “So ya secluded yerself?” Sniper interjected. “Well, it’s why I ate a lotta moose.” 

Seeing Lumberjack’s forced smile wasn’t something he wanted to linger on, so after a moment of pondering, Sniper reached out for her to take his hand. “Why don’t we go for a mini huntin’ trip before the battle tonioght?” The Ontarian grinned and took his hand with a hard slap, jumping to her feet. “I’d want nothing more.”

Demoman and Illusionist were driving home from their shopping trip. Bottles upon bottles of liquor tinkled and clanked together as Illusionst drove the vehicle. Demo had managed to keep himself sober, but his one eye made it challenging to drive, plus because he was usually drunk, he didn’t get to practice his driving too often. The whole experience was surprisingly fun for the pair. Demo was a very charismatic person out in public, and constantly made the Argentinian laugh at his silly gestures and comments. As they drove, he was telling her about his collection of enchanted/cursed artifacts. It was hard to believe that there was someone who was just as passionate about magical things, but he supposed they didn’t call her the Illusionist for nothing. He was now on the subject of swords, and she was listening with extra intent. 

“Maybe I can show ye me collection when we get back ta the base?” He beamed, observing her expressions all the while. He found it hard not to spend moments of time just gazing at her. The Latina let out a little laugh and nodded, “Si! I would absolutely love that.” She smiled over at him briefly before turning her attention back on the road.  
Illy didn’t want to admit it to herself, but she was smitten with the Black, Scottish Cyclops. He was absolutely her type; dark, intelligent (when he wanted to show it), funny, and attractive. However, she knew the other ladies wouldn’t shut up about her crush if they found out. Lumberjack especially. She was all too eager to spend more time with him, and knew she’d greatly indulge in watching him specifically during the match later but would try her dammest to be as subtle as possible.

As they made it back to the base, the two jumped out of the car and pulled out all their goodies, lugging it into the base. The sound of multiple bullets shooting could be heard, signalling that training was in session. Upon hearing it Demo groaned, “Ah cripe.”

“What is it Demo?” Illusionist asked, looking curiously at the Scot.

“Sounds like the boys started doing some training without us.”  
There was a massive wall of metal wiring behind the base, this is where the shooting sounds were coming from. It was originally simply designed as a training ground, but Soldier eventually turned it into his “play-pen.” 

The pair made their way into the now vacant lounge and put away their booze. “We could always postpone the sword display for later?” Illusionist spoke up, “If you want to go train with the others.” Demo rubbed his neck, looking lost in thought as he furrowed his brow. “Aye, that’s not a bad idea lass. I jus don want ya looking badly in front of the others if the ladies are training too.” Illusionist smiled and gently punched his shoulder, “Well, gracais for that.” The cheeky Scot watched as she began sauntering off, he couldn’t help but stare at her legs as they shifted in her step. He then snapped out of his daze and darted after her.

When they arrived at the training grounds, the pair saw Cryo laying awkwardly on a rancho relaxo, her hands on her chest where her heart rested as she gazed at the trio of training mercenaries. Scout was smacking a wooden target with his bat, beating it to a pulp. Heavy was practicing punches on a strung-up punching bag, and Engineer was timing himself on how fast he could get a sentry to level three. It was an impressive display to say the least. Demo rushed over to Engineer and Heavy to talk, while Illy made her way over to the recovering Canadian. 

“How was it?” She asked, crouching beside the chair.

Cryo smiled meekly and shrugged, “I’m fine now, but my insides still feel kinda shaken up, I think it’s more nausea than actual discomfort though.” She let out a little chuckle, “Fair warning, it’s gross.”

The Latina stood up and held her chest with both hands, “I guess it’s my turn to go, shouldn’t keep the doctor waiting. Pray for me?” Cryo let out another laugh. “Of course, it’ll be fine.”

Illy shook her head as she started heading back to the base, “If only they put that in the job description: heart surgery.”


End file.
